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Writer's pictureHolly Webber

Losing Limiting Beliefs

Self-limiting beliefs are ideas about who we are and who we are supposed to be that limit our potential. Preventing us from achieving our goals. These beliefs are often negative and stop us from reaching our highest self. The person we are meant to become in this life.

Self-limiting beliefs are based on past experiences, cultural conditioning and other factors like family expectations and agreements.



Examples of self-limiting beliefs

  • "I'm not good enough"

  • "I'll never be able to do that"

  • "I'm supposed to do that because...

  • "I can't do that because...

  • "I'm too old/young/fat/thin/etc."

  • "People like me don't succeed."

  • "I don't deserve success/happiness/love/etc."

  • "My life is supposed to be hard."

  • "Nothing works out for me."

  • "They shouldn't be doing that because it's not meant for them."

  • "I'm just like my dad/mom/grandma/brother/etc."

  • "This is the way it's always been/supposed to be."

These beliefs are deeply ingrained, sometimes to the point that we are unaware that they are what has been holding us back. They are the thoughts and ideas that come to mind each time we judge ourselves or others when there isn't anything harmful or negative about what is being done.

Self-limiting beliefs can hold us back from pursuing our dreams or taking risks to better our life. They can also lead to a lack of confidence, motivation, and self-esteem.

The good news is that self-limiting beliefs are not fixed or permanent. With awareness and effort, we are able to identify and challenge these beliefs which are based on fear instead of reality. So that we can replace them with more empowering and positive thoughts that will help us become happier and more successful.



Examples of cultural and societal conditioning that create self-limiting beliefs:


1. Gender roles: Traditional gender roles can create limiting beliefs about what is appropriate or possible for men and women. For example, boys may be taught that showing emotions is a sign of weakness, while girls may be discouraged from pursuing careers in traditionally male-dominated fields.



2. Racial and ethnic stereotypes: Stereotypes about race and ethnicity can create self-limiting beliefs about what is possible for individuals from different backgrounds. For example, a person from a marginalized community may believe that they will never be able to succeed in a particular field because of systemic biases and discrimination.


3. Socioeconomic status: Beliefs about social class can create self-limiting beliefs about what is possible for individuals from different economic backgrounds. For example, a person from a low-income family may believe that they will never be able to afford a higher education or pursue a certain career path.


4. Education system: The education system can reinforce self-limiting beliefs by promoting a narrow definition of success and intelligence. For example, a student who struggles with standardized testing may believe that they are not smart enough to succeed in school or in life.


5. Media and advertising: The media and advertising can promote unrealistic and limiting images of beauty, success, and happiness. For example, a person may believe that they are not attractive enough or wealthy enough to achieve happiness or success.


These are just a few examples of how cultural and societal conditioning can create self-limiting beliefs. By becoming aware of these beliefs and questioning whether they are valid, we can begin to rid ourselves of them. Which allows us to create a more positive and empowering self-image.

While it's important to see the truth about self-limiting beliefs, this doesn't mean that all cultural and societal norms are a negative thing for everyone. Each of us should look to see which ideas and beliefs benefit our lives and which ones should be changed. Acceptance of a belief doesn't make it become a limiting one unless it is negative and holds us back from reaching our full potential and being happy. In the same way, we should accept that we all have different understandings about what is for us and what isn't. So that as long as the belief isn't hurting others, it's not for us to judge what is or isn't a limiting belief. We can only judge our own self-limiting beliefs.

One of the most important ways to determine what our self-limiting beliefs are, is to question ourselves and our own thinking.

Here are a few ways to question beliefs and norms:

  • Examine the evidence: One way to question beliefs and norms is to examine the evidence that supports them. Are there studies or research that back up the belief or norm? Is there evidence to the contrary? By seeking out facts and evidence, we can gain a clearer understanding of whether a belief or norm is valid.


  • Consider different perspectives: Another way to question beliefs and norms is to consider different perspectives. How do people from different backgrounds or cultures view the belief or norm? Are there alternative ways of thinking about the issue? By considering multiple perspectives, we can broaden our understanding and challenge our assumptions.


  • Challenge assumptions: We often make assumptions based on our beliefs and norms, without realizing it. To question these assumptions, we can ask ourselves, "What assumptions am I making?" and "Are these assumptions valid?" By challenging our assumptions, we can gain a more nuanced and thoughtful understanding of the issue.


  • Reflect on personal experiences: Personal experiences can also be a valuable tool for questioning beliefs and norms. Have you had experiences that challenge the belief or norm? How have your experiences shaped your perspective? By reflecting on our own experiences, we can gain greater insight into our beliefs and how they influence us.


  • Seek out diverse voices: Finally, seeking out diverse voices can help us to question beliefs and norms. This can include reading books, watching films, or listening to podcasts from diverse perspectives. By exposing ourselves to different ideas and viewpoints, we can challenge our own beliefs and gain a greater understanding of the world around us.



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